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Why do my cats love to sit or sleep within and around my shoes…?

Why do my cats throw-up in my shoes?

Why do my cats, especially Jerry, only wants to sit on my lap when I am writing, like right now?

Why does Jerry want to sit on my lap when Tom is resting peacefully on my lap?

Why is Tom sitting in that box, one of those awful cat traps? KIMG0344 (1)

Why is it when I don’t get up early enough, Tom goes into the bathroom and knocks over the trashcan?

Why when the alarm goes off, 60 seconds later when I open my eyes, Tom is inches from my face?

Why does Tom punch me in the mouth the second thing after the alarm goes off? Oh right, he’s hungry.

Why does Tom argue with me every day? I can’t get him to shut up.

Why does Tom eat out of Jerry’s bowl and Jerry eats out of Tom’s bowl, when no one is looking?

Why, first thing in the morning, is Tom’s bowl empty and Jerry’s half filled?

Why is it when I sleep on my side, and I am only four inches wide at my shoulders, and Jerry only has four feet, why does he take eight steps to walk over me?

Why do I let my cats walk all over me?

Why does Tom sleep between my legs, when I like to roll from my left to my right in the middle of the night? Oh, now I remember, because he knows I will lay there and not kick him off my bed.

Why, when Tom sleeps between my legs, do I slowly as I can slide my leg by Tom so I don’t wake him, causing my leg to cramp up every time?

IMG_20161201_135651Why is it when I am watching TV and both or one or the other, is sitting on my lap and I have to go to the bathroom, I just sit there and suffer, because I don’t want to wake them because they are so cute?

Why do these cats eat plastic? Especially when I forget to put the bags up? I don’t need a sick cat on my hands.

Why do I hear Jerry, and sometimes Tom, run from the kitchen, around the living room, then up the stairs into the bedroom and back downstairs and in the Media room like nothing has happened?

Why does Tom run up the stairs, like a madman, (mad cat), jump up onto my bed and use his claws to stop? My down blanket is down 50% of its feathers.  I have sewn it up so many times the comforter is starting to look like Frankenstein’s blanket!1266643071687

Why does Tom always try to hump Jerry? Heck, they were both neutered when they were young. So where does that come from?

Why does Tom hump Jerry? That’s when the fight starts.

Why do Tom and Jerry start to play and a minute later…the fight starts?

Why does Jerry always grab the door knob to the basement, and then look at me? Oh right, I usually, without fail, get up and open the door.

Rodeo 004Why when I open the basement door Jerry never goes down? Tom, on the other hand, runs from were ever he is and charges down into the basement. I wonder what the heck are they doing down there?

Why is it that when Jerry goes down the stairs, after sitting in front of the door for about 10 minutes he goes down into the basement, then runs back upstairs like something is chasing him? Oh wait, its Tom chasing him.


Why are Tom and Jerry so funny at times? Oh right, they’re cats!

Why do I love Tom and Jerry? Oh yeah, because…cats!PICT1363


Here Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty…

I am a genetic engineer on Kepler 186f, and I miss my cat, Tom. He passed away a month ago; I kept his DNA, though. I’ve experimented with the indigenous animals here, a cross between a Tribble and a cat.

Tom is back, but there so many of him, now!


What do my Cat’s have against me?

As I was sitting on the John, today, something got me thinking. My Cats, Tom and Jerry were, laying in their perches, Cat trees, one in the kitchen and the other in the living room, knocked out, sound asleep, considering, it was kind of warm out today. Anyway, I had to use the toilet, so I tip-toed into the bathroom, placed the seat down as quiet as possible and sat down.

Within twenty seconds of sitting I heard that ubiquitous bell thumping along, heading my way, it was Jerry. Apparently, he has to know what is going when I use the john. WHY? I haven’t a clue. What’s up with that? I use to close the door when I had to do my business, but then all you could hear was the scratching on the door and carpet and usually a clawed paw reaching under the door.

I keep it open, considering I live alone, I mean, live with my two cats, because they ripped a piece of the carpet up, right at the door jam.

The first thing Jerry did when he entered the bathroom, he rammed his head right into my shin. He did that a couple of times, a sign of affection, or so the experts say. I think he just wants to break my leg or something, but I could be wrong.

Thirty seconds after Jerry entered, he decided to lay right between my feet and on my pants. I then hear another bell ringing it was Tom’s turn. Jerry jumped up and greeted Tom with a hiss and runs off. It is now Tom’s turn to bug the heck out of me as I try to read.

Tom, on the other hand, likes to walk in and out and between my legs as I am trying to read, among other things I’m doing in the bathroom.  Two minutes of walking around and talking to me (mewing non-stop) he decided that he is going to jump up onto the towel rack, some three and a half feet up the wall. Of course, he can’t really make it up there, but I give him a hand and now he has a better view.  I finish my business and leave him hanging, but I hear a thump as he jumps to floor when I get back on the computer.

I don’t know why I let my cats take advantage of me, but they do and I let them get away with it, a few times, not much but they still do. Especially at night, like when I got up this morning and found three fresh hairballs in the carpet.

Another thing that happens, well, not as much in the summer as it does in the winter, though. Anyway, this past Friday the temperature dropped to about 43 degrees. I don’t mind the cool weather I just add a blanket. The cats, on the other hand seek heat and I am the only heat source they can find in the house on a cool night.

This past Friday was the 13th, no bad luck involved, though, it is my lucky number (both of my sons were born on the 13th), but it was a full moon, which too is no biggy, it was just cold that night.  

For some reason I woke up at 4:35 am that morning and found myself staring at the bright full moon bleeding into my bedroom and I was just about to fall out of the bed. Why, you ask? My cats decided that they were going to join me, but they sleep in my bed the way they want to and if they can they will try and push me out of the bed.

They hadn’t been sleeping in my bed for the last week or so. Jerry usually never comes upstairs anymore; he and Tom have been having hissy fits and fighting a lot as of late, so he sleeps downstairs on the sofa. Tom usually sleeps in the chair under the window. For some strange reason I wake up, usually, anywhere between 4:30 am and 5:30 and I notice that Tom will be sitting on the window sill just looking out.

I figured out what he is looking at, to a point. There is a stray cat that lives under my back porch and on occasion, he or she will howl for a couple of minutes and the cats will fly, usually just Tom, up the stairs to get a look at this outdoors cat. And I have notice that there are deer walking across the front of the house to go into my backyard to either eat the apples or take a dump back there. I guess these creatures fascinate Tom and sometimes Jerry.

Anyway, I made a diagram of my sleeping situation of this past weekend. With any luck it will stay warm and I will able sleep in peace! As far as going to the toilet, I am just going to have to put up with those two and live in peace with them.